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Single cycles

to be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love

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Where are you in the cycle of wanting to be in a partnership, single and looking for your person?

*Single not looking

*looking but not finding someone suitable

*in and out of casual relationships or things that are fleeting

*in a relationship that is unhealthy or the trend of your history in dating

Things have changed over time as all things do, historically, but one can be certain to agree that post Covid, relationships or being single, its a whole new world.

Boundaries that are vital to being healthy for yourself mentally and physically for longterm sustainability, have become blurred and shifted.

Being restricted physically, isolated, and being homebound for a long period of time during and post pandemic period, has changed most people dramatically in how they are in society, and priorities, and how peoples lives just wont be the same as before.

Working from home/remote for example is here to stay now.

Historical relationships are based on partners who are monogomous, traditional roles in partnerships, good communication and commitment. Navigating through the "new age" relationships/dating world, is an eye opener. So the immediate first step is understanding your relationship with yourself, any self destructive tendancies, looking for a partner to be a saviour or replacement from childhood issues. ie father figure.

That is no longer the case in this day and age, relationships have changed and what was orthodox and unorthodox have blurred lines. Commitment to one partner is not always the case, there are different rules now to follow.

After being in restrictions society seems to be quite frustrated and short tempered with each other, proper communication without fear of speaking, whether this is permanent longterm or some recovery after lockdowns, we shall see. Not just personal relationships, but how we work, communicate, and ideology these look to stay.

Having an idea of what you want in a partnership is your first step. It is your "no exception", bottom line. What you expect from a partner, also something that needs to be communicated, at the right time with potential prospects.

Casual seems to be the major form of relationships, no promises just guidelines on what is acceptable and what crosses the line. And many people are happy with that as the premise of relationship.

If you are someone who has had difficulty in keeping a stable or long term relationship, perhaps always attracting someone who seems to see your vulnerable and ready to control. This is an issue where you will need to look at past dating history, childhood relationships and expectations, and any insecurities you have in valuing yourself and the value you feel about yourself in a partnership. Setting boundaries is a major first step to dating, and this you have to have as a mindset of what you want before you go out.

If you've been hurt previously and are ready to venture out but still guarded about expectations or fear, then perhaps some counselling or hanging out in social groups, social media and when you feel more comfortable, going it alone.

As we mature, the type of person we have previously been drawn to may have changed, and now you want to broaden your horizon to something different. There is no pressure, go out enjoy, see what you find attractive in a person now. Not just the type of person, but your expectations or needs in a relationship may have changed as well, so keep that in mind.

Single for singles sake? it has been a time of a collective conscious mental exhaustion with a lot of changes happening in the last few years. Some people just cant wont or don't want to date, and are happy with staying single. Others are happy to have someone they can call when they want to hang out, but still have their independence.

It is absolute that Post Covid society, people, ideology, partnerships how we communicate and live has changed permanently.

The most important thing to keep in mind is, WHAT WORKS FOR YOU. What YOU feel comfortable with.

Have the courage to step out of your zone or pop online, get social, join a group, and just start to be around people and find someone while just enjoying and having fun being social. Stick to your boundaries, be open to explore new things and people and most importantly, relax be yourself and trust you will find what you are looking for.


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